If I could, I’d tell my younger self these things:
- Suffering does not make you stronger. Contrary to popular belief, suffering is not “your lot.” Suffering is optional. Ask for help.
- Say “no” to self-imposed urgency. Over time, it will just become more urgent. Put a practice into place to slow it down now. Don’t wait any longer.
- Move closer to yourself. You will be happy there. The very things you have spent your life running from are the things that make you who you are.
- Let go, but do not give up. My love, sometimes you can confuse the two. Resting during confusion is helpful, so implement it now. (See #2 if you have trouble implementing this point.)
- Embrace your deepness. Your deepness brings with it compassion, sifts through all the BS in new relationships, and serves your creativity. Embrace the deepness! Hold it tight. For the love of God, hug it!
- “You are not alone.” No, really. You, yourself, will use it over and over again when motivating others. Do not become numb to this for yourself. Not only are you never alone, but, most importantly, you should never try to go it alone simply because you think you must.
- Aging is not a happily-ever-after destiny. It is not a place where you will finally have all your ducks in a row. Don’t put off experiencing life any longer.
- Lead the way. There is no rite of passage for those entering midlife. Despite this, you must always remember that the next generation needs you and the lessons you learned at their age. Be brave enough to lead the way instead of feeling like you have to compete to be seen. You don’t. You just have to use your voice.
“You are old enough to lead, young enough to dream.”
- Don’t forget your dreams. When you were 10 years old singing into a hairbrush, dreaming of all your life’s possibilities, you knew with absolute certainty that you could be anything you dreamed. Remember: You are still that person—you just have to tap into her.
- Forgive yourself. You have tried to be perfect for so long. When you hit your 40s, you will understand that it is your imperfections that make you stand out. Forgive yourself and grab hold of them now!